Listening is another important part of communicating and there are many things that compete with our ability to listen fully or deeply. Everyone values feeling heard, which is one reason many people choose to participate in therapy. Sometimes people listen to understand and sometimes they listen to respond.
Those who are listening to respond may feel pressured to come up with a response or maybe waiting for an opportunity to share something about themselves that relates to the conversation. It may also be that they want to appear to be listening so that they can move the conversation forward, especially if the conversation is challenging.
Waters discusses previous studies that identify four levels of listening, which include:. With each level, listening becomes more involved and requires increasing openness and vulnerability.
When people are able to deeply listen, the other person is able to feel deeply heard and feels that they are cared about and understood. Communicating in ways that make us feel heard and understood helps strengthen our relationships and our perceived quality of those relationships.
There may be times that factual listening is appropriate, but we want to be mindful of the context and the relationship that we have with the other person. Generative and deep listening are the most rewarding in our interpersonal relationships, especially with those who we feel especially close. Child Care Services. School Programs. Contact Us. Learning Environments. Art Therapy. School Age Programs. Qualified Educator Trained Educator. Talking more to the people around you help you to get to know them better thus allowing your relationship with them to grow.
Many studies have shown that people who have satisfying relationships with others are happier, have fewer health problems, and live longer. On the contrary, a lack of social relations is associated with problems such as depression.
When feeling troubled, it can be difficult to take a step back and look at the problem from a different viewpoint. Talking to someone can allow them to give their own opinion and helpful advice which you may not have thought of yourself. Isolating ourselves in this manner can do more harm than good.
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